I was days into my research before I finally found a clue. In an obscure document on the website of the International House of Pancakes Corporation there was a hint that the dark breakfast had been made. IHOP omelettes include pancake batter. While I cannot place IHOP omelettes exactly on the map, by interpolating between pancakes and omelettes, we can bound where they must occur, and confirm that the manifold possibilities do indeed pass through the Dark Breakfast Abyss.
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Ben Jones accepts a certain amount of frustration is part and parcel of being a football fan. But that should be because of the action on the pitch, not because he can't use his mobile phone to call a friend in the stadium, or check the progress of other critical games.
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